Uncategorized

104/133

It was such an exciting semi-finals & I forgot to take a video. But seriously, so proud of him. At least he's a "pure" Singaporean & not some "imported" Singaporean!

I was saying last night, Marital Rape is not considered a form of rape in Singapore. It is NOT an offense or crime, perhaps a deviance? It's only considered a rape if the wife is under PPO or the couple is going through legal separation. In some countries like Australia & USA, Marital Rape is considered a form of rape.

This topic has been surfacing in both my Law & Order class & Gender Issues class. This was brought up again & we were discussing about it.

It is not consider a rape because marital rape belongs to something of the private sphere which unfortunately, Singapore has no policies against rape in private sphere. We do have strict & heavy punishment on rape of the public sphere. But due to the Asian values that we have, whatever that happens to a marriage is usually considered something private and thus the law does not interfere with it.

My question, what is the difference between a marital rape & rape on its own?

#dayrewives

Isn't both considered rape?

Under Penal Code, S375(1), rape is committed when a man penetrates a womanโ€™s vagina with his penis without her consent.

So you mean in a marriage, a man has power & authority over a woman. Even without her consensus, he can just force himself on her? Or is that what the law is educating us?

Singapore is a hybrid capitalist society whereby we are very driven by profit. The policies that we have are very profit driven too.

Even in a marriage, it's a capitalist hierarchy whereby there is a constant struggle of power between men & women.

By power struggle, I don't mean just on the authority or power. It's how women are confined to gender roles, how men are still considered the head of the family & how Patriarchy system is still working to a large extent in our society.

As a Christian, I agree that the women should be the helper to the head of the family. I have nothing against patriarchy or the power struggle.

We have to admit, as much as we talk or fight over gender equality, it'll never happen because man & woman are built differently with different gifts.

I don't agree when this power struggle leads to policies like marital rape is not considered a rape or when domestic violence happens, a woman is asked or counseled into returning to the husband because of religious purpose or for whatever reason & allow that violence to continue.

We have groups like AWARE or even women's charted to protect women. Do you know how they started? These groups started not because they want to protect women. They started because they want to protest against Polygamy marriage. Then slowly, these groups moved on to the protection of women & so forth.

I'm not saying that's not a good cause for starting such movement. But look at the motive, it's to push for policies to protect their marriage.

We were discussing on housework & how to make them prestige so that man will help out. There was also the discussion & conclusion that Motherhood is a myth because it's something socially constructed.

How motherhood is defined in Singapore is different from how motherhood might be defined in the western society. It's the gender roles that we learnt which made up our concept of what is motherhood.

Sad to say, SG is one of the countries whereby women faced role strain & conflict. Our government made policies & highly encourage dual income but yet at the same time, emphasize on how women MUST be the main care taker etc.

Maternity leave is a policy to condition us into the mindset that mother is the MAIN care taker of the kid. Women must be the worker that earns income to supply the household, must be the mother who nurture the child & must be the excellent domestic helper at home too.

More than that, we have adopt an eastern value whereby if the women don't cook or clean, she is a BAD wife. Or anybody with a domestic helper is a taitai because she doesn't need to be "tortured" by the household chores, which usually falls into the "job scope" of a woman.

Please don't get me wrong. There's nothing with the above concept because our concept of gender role is through the agent of socialization. In SG, from education to family, government to media, this is what we learn.

In case I'm upsetting anybody, I want to say this again, I have nothing against this gender role concept in Singapore. Even thou I don't cook or do much house chores, I have to admit that next time when I have a kid, I'll adopt the myth of motherhood in Singapore and cook for my own child. It's out of love and not obligation.

But it's very upsetting that because of all these gender roles etc, there are unfair treatments to women & there's simply nothing much they can do.

I've did a research & assignment on emotions & women before. It's found that 1 in 3 working mother in Singapore experience depression due to role conflict & role strain. The saddest part is that there is nothing much they can do because they are trapped in that position. I've spoke to many of my friends who are working mother, if given a choice, they will want to be a stay at home mother & nurture their own kids.

A survey was done and 86% of the working mother rather be SAHM.

Only 14% of women are stay at home momma and usually they belongs to the middle-upper or upper class of society. Again, it's how government policies reinforce dual income if you want to have a certain standard of living. I have nothing against government, in fact after studying so many government systems in the world, I felt that ours is one of the best. It's just the nature of our hybrid capitalist that made it this way.

Anyway, do you know that the higher educated or higher earning power of a woman, the less chances that she will step forward and report a domestic violence or marital rape made against her? It's due to face value & social stigma that they are unwilling to step out. Most of them choose to live with it which is quite sad.

AWARE is pushing for benefits for single mother & government finally heard their voice & changes the policy for them.

I hope government will hear the voices of AWARE & Women's chartered to push for more protection of women within a marriage. Yes, marriage is a private sphere but man has no right to claim a woman and think that they have authority & power over them to abuse or rape them. And I felt that such policies or mindset will allow more man to do what they want to a woman in marriage.

It might shocked you but we have a high percentage of domestic violence & marital rape in SG, a "civilized" society.

Oh, we had another discussion. Due to religious purpose, many women are asked to go back to their physical abusing husband because it's not right to divorce and it's the women's role to put up with his violence just to keep the family intact.

I'm a Christian and I don't believe in divorce but honestly, if a man doesn't repent & kept abusing the wife, due to religious belief, is it "morally" correct for a wife to still stay in the marriage & suffer?

If you do some research, you'll see a lot of statistic which is very heart broken. Yes, women are educated in Singapore & all but domestic violence is very real. Being a racial & religious harmony country, the government do not interfere in how certain things are being done.

Religious is something very personal & as a Christian, I have my own set of belief too.

But honestly, going back to an abusive husband?

I don't know how to answer this religious vs abusive family.

If your faith requires you to go back to an abusive husband, will you still keep to your faith belief or free yourself from oppression?

I think I ponder upon this for quite a bit. If Big Man gets violent or physical with me and doesn't show any repentance. Or maybe if he was to get violent with me anytime, I'll not tolerate it. He has martial arts & Taekwondo black belt leh, if he were to get violent, I think there's no way I can win him๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข.

Then again, it's easy to say this now since it's not happening. Many woman refused to report violence because they don't want to spoil the image of their "perfect" life. Or due to the social stigma that the society has on a divorcee? Or how people will judge you if you are a successful woman but your husband actually get violent with you? I'm shocked at the statistic when our lecturer showed us the figures & researches.

Okie I'm done with my verbal diarrhea as a #dayrewives! Today is a stay at home do assignment day, shall leave some words quota for my assignment.

Anyway, I still think that Marital Rape should be a crime in SG and not remain as a deviance!!!!!!!

Omygosh, he made it into FINALs!!!!

Go go go!!

Super proud of him!! Please let SG flag fly high in Olympic.

Momma's home today so I get very nice home cooked soup. All of my favourite in a bowl.

#dayrefatties #dayrefoodie

I'm supposed to be doing my assignment now but I'm in such a lazy mood. Can I don't work & also don't study ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ™ˆ.

#LoveBonito just launched!
@sh3rifoo @felicetsy @sabsoh @huilin__ @whitechoco @poppynotes @charmchuang @pwure @sxnoonlush @ruthneedsmoney @sodapopp @lovingmumz @bowiechuah @Allicsirpy

My naked palette 3! Can't wait to use this tmr.

#dayrebeauty #dayremakeup #urbandecay

My loots.

Used the #SkinInc set & I'm loving it a lot. Shall do a review when I'm free. Going for a run then back to assignment.

I hate datelines, especially school datelines.

#mandyrunninglog

By 5th KM, my right ankle was hurting so I walked for the last 2 km. Think I need to do something to my ankle when I run.

Jstor has been so nice to students with an auto citation machine in the website & allow free download of PDF for their academic writing.

I envy the new social science students where everything is instant & they don't have to crack their brain like I did to cite articles or reports.

I think I'm always nice to people on #Carousell. My prices are very negotiable, allowing people to negotiate like $5 discount or whatever because I just want to clear my items.

But today, this #carouhell really angers me & I rather not sell the item than having to put up with silly request. It's like hello, I give you a huge discount & you still demand me to do this first then that.

FINE! I've never met a buyer being so troublesome.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s